Last night a dear friend of mine lost her husband.  At 8:00 pm she was a wife.  Married 35 years to an apparently healthy retirement age man and by midnight she was a widow.  I'm sure the firemen, EMT, ambulance service and hospital staff did their very best but the situation was nearly hopeless from the beginning.  It was sudden, unexpected and devastating, but here's the real shocker, it isn't like they show on television.

While the surgeon did a review with her, what took place and when, he was not followed by a kindly, comforting nurse, priest, minister or even an efficient administrator to give instructions relating to the sequence of events or necessary actions to be taken.

We were instead left in a comfortless surgical waiting room looking at each other and wondering what we were to do next.  Not only did we not know what to do, we didn't know who to ask.  When a woman is expecting she is given pamphlets telling her what to expect by way of physical change, a timeline, a list of appointments, tests, treatments and even an item by item instruction list regarding packing for the hospital on delivery day.  The reasoning of course is that people will not think or function well in an emergency.  How strange that in a country that provides pamphlets on how to get welfare in four languages there is no instruction book or checklist for the event of death.  Much of our population will never be pregnant or give birth, but 100% will die or deal with a death in our immediate circle.  This may be a symptom of societal denial but here's my point:

People are empowered by knowing what to expect and what to do.  It is obvious to me that information is not routinely available at the moment needed from the expected sources, so do it today and do it yourself.

See an attorney for your living will, remainder will, revocable family trust, estate planning documents, durable powers of attorney, HIPAA documents, and any other special provisions or documents your personal situation requires.  In addition please build a checklist of procedures and providers to be used, the type of funeral, memorial or process to be followed.  Include names and phone numbers.  Check with you local mortuary for the procedures for obtaining death certificates.  Check with Social Security Administration for instructions on how to stop, continue or redirect benefits.  Check with your bank about rights and procedures on bank accounts, safe deposits boxes, and certificates of deposits.  The post office may have requirements regarding post office boxes and registered letter receipt.  What do you need to do regarding insurance, both medical and life?  Find out about requirements for redirecting pension plan payments, stock certificates, billing addresses.  Find out what you own and where it is.

Why would this appear in "Creative Corner"?  Because life goes on.  Your income will desperately needed as the events and expenses unfold.  You credit rating needs to be protected.  The living need to know where assets are, what they are and how to prove ownership.  All of these things are essential and I hope none of us needs to do them often enough to become proficient at them.

Although all of the above is a distasteful process while everyone is alive and well it is a horrible undertaking while overwhelmed with grief.  Remember when planning is most desperately needed, it is almost always too late.

                                                                        Just do it!